At 4:30PMish on June 25th, 2015, while driving on the I-40 in Albuquerque, NM, my first humongous life goal came true. I was on my way to Kinko’s to print out my gazillionth, (yet first ready to print), draft of my book 35 by 35. I was crying, blaring music, and yelling out loud to my grandmother (who had passed away two years prior), that I did it! I wrote my book!

My grandmother was the first person who told me I was a good writer, and her belief in me kept me going when my confidence waned, so when I knew my book was ready, I wanted her to be the first to know. I wish she could have read it, I’m sure she would have had a ton of notes, but she certainly would have gotten a kick out of it.

At 4:10AMish on September 10th, 2019, while laying in bed in the dark checking the women’s overall age group results at Ironman Wisconsin, (I hadn’t looked yet), my second humongous life goal came true. “Wait, what?’ says all of you reading this who know how my race at Ironman Wisconsin panned out. ‘Taryn, are you okay?”

Yes. I am better than okay. I know I may sound delusional, (and I might be), but once I saw the results of the ladies who finished in the top three, it hit me, I accomplished what I wrote down a couple of years ago.

**My goal sheet. Please note the three words next to, Earn Pro Card.**

**Spoiler Alert** I did not earn my pro card. I placed waaaaay beyond third, but if I had a smooth day, one without a flat tire at mile 109, and a healthy foot, or bare minimum, a bum foot that held out with just an ache, verses a sharp pain for the entire marathon, I know I would have placed much higher, and maybe, just maybe I could have done it. And for some cosmic reason that feels like enough.

**The day I received my orthotics, and believed I could race Ironman Wisconsin pain-free.**

When I made the decision to race Ironman Wisconsin in late July after my miraculous run with Kat at Ultraman, (a swift change of events after coming to terms with not racing it due to my hammer toe/bum foot situation before I flew to Canada the week prior), I knew it was a gamble, but I wanted to try. I only had six weeks to snap back into somewhat decent Ironman shape, which really only turned out to be four weeks, because I eased back into it the first week, and that last week was filled with high-intensity workouts, but not much volume, which weighed heavily on my mind. I think I may be the only athlete on Hillary’s roster who asked for more work. Ultimately, I trusted her methodology, and was indeed ready to hit it hard on race day last Sunday morning.

**Swim finish. Also, nice shot of my mangled right toe.**

I finally entered Lake Monona at 7:05AM, fifteen minutes after the cannon boomed; the crowd was thick, and the line moved slowly. I didn’t care. Ironman is a long day, my time started when I started, but I was disappointed that I wouldn’t know who I was chasing, so I decided I would be chasing everyone.

The water was choppy, which was fine with me, it felt like the ocean, and I love swimming in the ocean.

Swim time: 1:10:40

My biggest concern about racing Ironman Wisconsin was the transition from Lake Monona to my bike. I would have to run barefoot on concrete up the helix ramp in the parking structure into the ballroom transition area, and back out onto the concrete parking roof and all the way down to the end of the racks to reunite with Simone. I decided to run in my socks, because it would be slow and jaunty to run that far in my cycling shoes, which was a fast, but unwise decision.

Just to review, the problem area in my foot is in the second MTP joint. There is a complex fluid collection, (gigantic callus), on the ball of my foot underneath the second toe, (AKA, MTP joint), which supposedly has been caused by repetitive hammering of my hammer toe, (middle toe). Orthotics have helped ease the pain because they have a molded groove for the callus to sit, but if I am barefoot, the callus absorbs all of the impact from the ground, which is an unpleasant feeling. My feet burned by the time I got onto the bike, which I thought might come back to haunt me, but at that moment, I just wanted to start pedaling.

**Rolling out of T1. Photo credit goes to Deanna Doohaluk**

The bike course was fun. It is hilly, there are tons of turns and shifting ground surfaces, but the toughest part was the wind.

I ride a lot in the wind, so I was not shocked by it, I felt solid and secure riding through it, but it did zap my energy quicker than I hoped. I was taking in about 280 calories per hour, but my mile 97, I started to bonk, and gobbled down one Picky Bar followed by a GU, my usual hourly amount of calories all at once. It worked. My eyelids opened up again, and my legs started to churn.

Then at mile 109 of 112, I made a turn into the Alliant Center, and tried to pop my wheel above the large lip of the driveway, but I must not have lifted it high enough, because soon after I was rolling through the parking lot, I heard the noise every cyclist dreads, the heart darkening wobble of rim to road.

It’s a crushing realization under any circumstances, during a training ride, during a race, but even more so when you’re not just racing to finish, but racing for a dream.

I rode about twenty yards, hoping maybe it would hold out, but no, I had to stop and change the tube. Oddly, I was not upset. I just went into, Well, T, you’ve never had a flat in a race before, this is your fifteenth Ironman, so you’re due.

First, I tried the foam Pit Stop, that didn’t work. Next, I took the tire off the wheel, changed out the valve, and got the tube and tire back onto the Zipp 808 rim fairly quickly, and pumped up the tire. I put the wheel back on my bike, but noticed the tire was not quite right on one side, I didn’t want to pinch it once I started rolling, so I took the wheel back off of Simone, fixed the tire, and put it back on. Then I pumped up the tire using my pump, because even though I had CO2 cartridges, I had never used them before, and didn’t want to chance it, a rookie move, but the pumped worked fine, it just took longer. Regardless, I was just thrilled that I fixed the flat, and could finish the race.

I rode the remaining three miles very carefully, did not rush through transition, and decided since my goal for the race was out the window, (there was no way I could finish in the top three, or even near the top of my age group), I would still try to run the marathon as fast as I could.

Bike time: 6:27:20

**Early on the marathon, feelin' good.**

My initial marathon goal was sub 3:30, a big ask, but a number I was determined to hit. I aimed to keep my pace around 7:40min. mi. for as long as possible to bank some time for when things got ugly after mile twenty or so. My foot ached slightly when I started, but I settled into my cruisey comfortable gait right away, and was knocking off the miles right on, or just above or below the desired pace for the first eighteen miles.

At mile eighteen I looked at my watch and saw 2:20, Perfect, I have plenty of time to run 8 miles and finish under 3:30.

Then midway through mile eighteen, running up the steepest hill on the course located on the University campus, I felt a sharp pain in my foot. I knew the orthotics were helping, but they were no match for over two hours of pounding on the concrete. The longest run I did during my build was twenty miles on the treadmill, and my foot felt fine, but the glorious rubber give of the treadmill was nowhere to be found in Madison.

**Around mile 16 - 17, keeping pace, but feelin' my foot.**

Next, I pulled off the course and sat down on a bench and took off my shoe and sock to investigate the toe. It was big. Swollen, but not black or blue, which was positive, but painful. I put my shoe and sock back on, and started to slowly run up the hill. Once I made it to the top, I was favoring my foot while throwing off every other part of my body, and knew it was decision time. Then I saw Amy.

“You’re doing great, Taryn, keep it up.” A kind spectator called out from the middle of the hill. I had noticed her during the first loop, but didn't recognize her. She didn’t have any Smashfest Queen gear on, and my name wasn't printed that large on my bib, so I had no idea how she knew who I was.

I walked over to her and said something like, “Hi, what is your name?”

“My name is Amy, I follow your blog.”

“Oh, wow, thank you!” I joyfully reacted in the midst of holding back tears.

“Are you okay?”

“No, no I’m not. My foot is messed up, it’s just hurting too much.”
We were both tearing up at this point, and I was breaking inside, because not only did I think I couldn’t run anymore that day, but ever. Or, at least not longer than a couple of hours, which considering how marathons are my lifeblood, was practically everything.

“You just need to rest so you can continue doing what you love.”

“Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much.’ I turned to walk toward the bottom of the hill, then turned to say, ‘You’ll be in the blog this week.”

Thank you, Amy. Sharing that incredibly difficult moment with someone who empathized with how I felt, who knew exactly how much it hurt for me to stop, was truly a gift.

The remaining eight miles were cold, embarrassing, and endless. Honestly, I probably should have stopped altogether to take the pressure off of my foot, but I had until midnight to finish, and I wanted to honor my fellow competitors, and refused to quit.

I knew racing this Ironman was a gamble, but I wanted to try. I needed to try in order to truly comprehend that my foot still needed to heal, that running long was hurting it, and that I was already enough.

I had already proved that I was fast enough to hang with the top age group ladies in previous races, and I had beaten Pro’s before, not the top Pro’s, not the middle of the pack Pro’s, but women like me who had the courage to step up and take a risk to compete with women much, much faster, women who had the guts to race alongside the best of the best because they earned their spot, too. It may take months for my foot to be strong enough to race another Ironman, or it may never be, the window for me to actually punch my Pro card may be closed, but if my Pro card rallying cry this past year has inspired at least one other athlete to step up and take what she earned, a valid spot to race in the Pro ranks, than it was worth it.

Marathon time: 4:23:36

Overall Finish time: 12:15:00

I hope I get to race Ironman Wisconsin again. I had an amazing four days in Madison filled with fun times with friends, teammates, and a little work, too.

**My phenomenal TeamSFQ teammates. Photo credit goes to Jen Jardeleza.**

Instead of a music video this week, I am going to include the link to the video I made from our team meet-up in Madison on Saturday.