In the Fall of 1991, when I was in the 7th grade, I endured the most cruel and emotionally debilitating six weeks of my life. The late September temps still lingered in the mid 90’s and low 100’s where I lived in the Inland Empire, the small and adorable town of Claremont, but miraculously our Junior High School, El Roble, had a pool, so during those hot, hot weeks, we swam during PE. I had PE at the end of the day, 7th period, which was a blessing and a curse. It was great because I didn’t have to suffer through the rest of the school day with chlorine ravaged hair and skin, but the downside was that I did have to suffer through the entire day of classes leading up to it with sky-rocketing blood pressure, and a nauseous stomach roiling with anticipation of what lay ahead, forty-six minutes of bullying by three fellow pre-teen girls, and the the pool’s “high” diving board.
That diving board was both my refuge and spotlight of fear.
The minutes I stood on the top of it saved me from the endless self-esteem pelting I received from the evil mid-pubescent trio, but it also provided an endless loop of failure; I could never “dive” off of the edge of the board head first.
When the temperatures finally cooled down enough to end our afternoons in the pool, I was relieved beyond belief.
Suddenly, I didn’t have to face my fear at the edge of the board anymore, and once we started playing soccer, (or any other land-based activity), those bully’s started to let up on me, and actually became somewhat friendly, so I suppose I overcame that horrific adolescent hurdle, but I never got another crack at diving off of the El Roble “high” diving board, and even though swimming is a far reach from diving, I have never shaken the feeling that I am an aquatics failure, and simply don’t belong in a swimming pool.
The El Segundo Wiseburn Aquatics Center, the location of the Biscay Coaching Olympics - Day 2.
Nearly thirty years later, and after thousands of yards swum in pools, oceans, lakes, and rivers, I still feel like I don’t belong in any body water. Nevertheless, I keep climbing up that metaphorical “high” dive ladder everyday to try to improve as a swimmer, and truly believe that one day I’ll win over the bullies in my psyche just like I did with those three mean girls in Junior High.
Climbing the swim platform at Schoolhouse Beach during a rain storm on Washington Island, WI. July, 2020.
Last weekend I came really close.
Biscay Coaching kicked off our first of two weekends of the Biscay Coaching Olympics, which included three days of swim events:
Friday was a 500 time trial, (yards or meters, depending on swimming location), Saturday was 4x100 relay, (solo), and Sunday was a “Pool” mile time trial, (1,650y, or 1,500m).
Our team of coaches and athletes are spread across the country, hence this was a virtual event, but regardless of competing head to head or not, preparing for and racing every single event literally scared the daylights out of me.
Team swim on Day 2: From screen left, Jen Matro, Genn Geiger, Lynne Fiedler, and yours truly.
Honestly, those three days of intense, all-out, sprint-like swimming, a method of swimming I do not normally do, (I prefer to swim long and steady), confirmed my instinct that I thrive on land, and do not belong under water.
However, I did not swim poorly, I am satisfied with my times, yet there is certainly room for improvement.
I have faith the many months of upper-body training I accrued when the pools were closed have increased my strength, and I flip-turn *almost* regularly, but my ankles will never be as flexible as life-long swimmer’s are, and my hips nudge, rather than slice through the water, still with each stroke in the water I know I am moving further down the lane to my goal of transforming into a better-than decent swimmer by my 46th birthday.
Still jumping vs. diving.
Which is only five years away.:)
How I felt when the swim events concluded.
Next up for the Biscay Coaching Olympics are the running events!!
Friday we run a mile for time, Saturday is 4x400M, and Sunday calls for a 10K, all around a track.:)
I am not quite back to tip-top shape from my hamstring injury, but I am healthy enough to compete, and I CAN’T WAIT!! It will be fun, painful, nauseating, and exhilarating, I’m PUMPED!
The song and video choice this week is one of my all-time favorite ballads, a popular tune from the era I referenced above, Fall 1991, and the video stars my adolescent crush. Enjoy.:)
